Is Regifting Rude?

Imagine opening your presents this holiday season and finding a sweatshirt from your grandmother that you wouldn’t ever dream of wearing. Is it appropriate to rewrap it and give it to a friend who you think would actually like it?

Opponents of regifting say that would be tacky and inconsiderate. They argue that the presents we give should be thoughtful—and that unloading rejected items on friends or family members is wrong. Regifting can also hurt the original gift giver’s feelings. How would you feel if you knew your best friend had regifted a present you’d taken the time to choose just for him or her?

But other people say regifting is perfectly acceptable. They point out that it’s a great way to give new life to presents you don’t want. (Just because you have no use for a picture frame doesn’t mean someone else in your life wouldn’t value it.) A 2018 survey found that Americans spent a whopping $13 billion on unwanted holiday gifts, some of which ended up in the trash. Instead of stuffing unwanted items in a closet or tossing them out, it makes more sense to recycle them. That would be better for the environment—and for your wallet.

Is regifting rude? Two etiquette experts weigh in.

Regifting is wrong. It’s inconsiderate, and it takes the thought out of giving.

Most people take great care in choosing the perfect gift for their friends and family members—or at least they should. Presents are meant to be cherished, but regifters treat them as just stuff to get rid of. The gift wasn’t good enough for them or they didn’t need it, so back in the box it goes to be rewrapped and passed on to the next person.

Regifting can also be hurtful to the original gift giver. I once gave a friend a beautiful music box that played her favorite song. I was so happy when I found it and didn’t care that it cost more than I had planned to spend. Later, I learned that she’d given it to someone else. It hurt my feelings, and it made me wonder how well we really knew each other.

Being short on cash doesn’t mean regifting is your only option. Choosing the right present isn’t about paying a lot of money. It’s about the sentiment behind the act. It’s easy to find thoughtful, inexpensive gifts if you take the time to look around.

If someone gives you something that you really don’t want or need, ask him or her if it would be OK for you to return it. Or if there’s a gift receipt, simply exchange it for something else. Then let the gift giver know how much you appreciated the present and that you were able to get something just as special. If you can’t return unwanted items, consider donating them to a charity, such as Goodwill, Big Brothers Big Sisters, or a local homeless shelter. That way, the items are still being put to good use.

Regifting will probably be popular again this holiday season, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Instead, let’s bring back the art of meaningful giving by presenting our loved ones with things that were intended for them in the first place.

—Yvonne Durant
Etiquette Consultant, Yvonne & Yvettetiquette

The quality of a gift has nothing to do with where it came from or whether you paid for it. What matters is the thought behind it.

Regifting gives purpose to items we don’t need or ones that are simply better suited to someone else. Maybe you were given a necklace that looks more like something your friend might wear or a book you know a sibling would enjoy more than you would. It’s fine to wrap them up and give them as gifts. In fact, 76 percent of Americans think regifting is socially acceptable, according to one survey.

There is also a strong environmental argument for regifting. Americans generate more than 250 million tons of trash each year. About 54 percent of that trash ends up in landfills, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. Regifting extends the lives of our unneeded gifts and keeps them out of the waste stream. Why go out and buy more products when we already have so much to give?

Regifting also makes financial sense. Many Americans are struggling this holiday season. Being unable to afford a new present for a friend or family member shouldn’t prevent us from giving them something that shows how much we care.

Of course, the present should be something you think the person you’re giving it to will actually want and use. It’s wrong to regift something simply to unload it. That’s how regifting got a bad name to begin with.

When done right, regifting is perfectly acceptable. Regardless of where the present originally came from, how could someone not cherish getting a gift that’s been thoughtfully chosen for them?

—Mindy Lockard
Etiquette Consultant, The Gracious Girl