Escaping Iran's Revolution

Uttara Krishnan: How old were you when the revolution took place? What did you notice?

Sylvie Kadivar: I was 11 years old. At first I noticed small things, like conversations at school and tension among people. But as more time went by, I saw protests and police everywhere. It became dangerous. My school was closed a couple of times because of the revolutionaries. Protesters burned books and friends grew distant because of different political views. Because I was so young, it was difficult to understand what was happening.

UK: Did you see any protests?

SK: I remember being in the car when one was going on, and my father told me to put my head down because people were shooting. Then it happened so often it became normal. We would get stopped by the police and it would take more time than usual to get somewhere.

UK: Did anyone you knew participate in the protests going on where you lived?

SK: Yes. My childhood friends got dragged into protesting against the shah and for the ayatollah. They would talk about it in school all the time, and it was strange. We went from playing with dolls and toys to talking about politics.

UK: When you walked outside, did things seem like normal?

SK: No. You would be scared. Before, you would play with your friends outside, you would dance, you would sing, you would have a good time. But after the revolution, people became less and less friendly. I had a teacher who used to be so caring and loving, but after the revolution, he got angry at the students and was rude to every­one with different political opinions.

UK: Did your parents ever talk about their political views? Did that affect the way you thought?

SK: I think your parents’ opinions always matter to you. I mostly agreed with what they said, but I would never bring it up at school or with my friends. I didn’t want politics to change my friendship with them.

UK: With all the fighting and new restrictions, thousands of Iranians fled, including your family. You had to leave all your belongings when you left for France. What was that like?

SK: I was very upset. I felt sadness in my family. I thought we would eventually go back, but we never did. My brother took soil from Iran and put it in a bag, so he under­stood that we wouldn’t go back. Even after I realized it too, I dreamed of returning and everything being at peace.

UK: How did you feel in France?

SK: For the first three years, I was really upset. I used to dream about Iran, my life and friends. I found that I got along well with people who also had struggles in their life. I worked really hard on my grades and found that it helped me make more friends.

UK: Did you have to hide who you were in public?

SK: I did want to hide, so I would hide in my dreams. I would imagine going back to Iran and no one would understand how I felt. I couldn’t connect with anyone in the beginning. I needed time, and I needed someone to talk to. I couldn’t always talk to other kids, but I could talk to the teachers, and they could help me. The kids couldn’t experience what I felt.

UK: Have you visited Iran since? If not, would you like to?

SK: I would like to visit Iran, but I never went back. I feel that my country should be a real democracy. I’m not ready to go back and remember the pain of leaving.

UK: What did you learn from this experience?

SK: I learned a lot about the importance of being very careful when a politician uses hatred to move an agenda forward. Anger and revenge have no good outcome on anybody. I also learned to appreciate everyone, no matter what their opinion is. I taught myself not to follow blindly, to pay attention, to reach out to people and find solutions that work for everyone, and to be strong and resilient.